How To Make Decisions Effectively
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
‘- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation.
‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.”
– Lewis Carroll – Alice in Wonderland
Choices are a continuous part of the circle of life. Whether we are acting on autopilot or making conscious choices, we make hundreds of decisions each and every day. Most of them, thankfully, can be made on autopilot-eating, getting out of bed, the daily grind. But the big choices can sometimes be difficult to make. When you think about life-changing decisions, the stakes get higher and the choice making harder.
How do you make your decisions? What do you base your choices on? If you are like most people, you decide based on what other people say and do. Decisions are made based on news stories, articles, and what other people say and do. Most of us are not confident enough to make decisions based on our experience alone. This is not altogether a bad thing; gaining perspective through studying the experiences of others is smart planning. However, if you are being held back from doing something because you fear failure, perhaps you need to take a step back. The Ben Franklin method of decision-making is a tried and true method for making a decision. We all know the Ben Franklin method of decision-making.
“My way is to divide half a sheet of paper by a line into two columns; writing over the one Pro and over the other Con. Then during three or four days’ consideration, I put down under the different heads short hints of the different motives, that at different time occur to me, for or against the measure. When I have thus got them altogether in one view, I endeavor to estimate their respective weights; and where I find two, one on each side, that seem equal, I strike them both out.
If I judge some two reasons con equal to some three reasons pro, I strike out five; and thus proceeding, I find where the balance lies; and if after a day or two of further consideration, nothing new that is of importance occurs on either side, I come to a determination accordingly.” –Benjamin Franklin
Another decision making process that works for many is to use two sheets of paper. Write the issue at the tip of each piece of paper. The first page will include all your personal experiences and the second page, what you have read or been told about it.
Throw away the second piece of paper! Did you make your decision based on your own experience or that of others? Interesting, isn’t it?
Choices – we must all make countless choices each day from the time we get out of bed to the food we eat to what we will do with our lives. Making choices is not so difficult with the basics. You know what you like to eat and do on a daily basis – easy. Or is it? Personally, I find making choices for the bigger things in life sometimes much easier than some of the smaller things. I know what I want to do with my life and what my major life goals are. I make my choices based on the key goals I want to achieve. It is when I start thinking about whether or not to go to an event, whether or not to accept a date, whether I should eat ice cream or frozen yogurt. Those decisions seem to take an inordinate amount of time.
Brian Wansink, the John S. Dyson Professor of Marketing and of Applied Economics at Cornell, released a study in 2006 that found that we make 200 food choices a day on autopilot. When you think about it, everything we do, every minute of the day requires making a choice. That is probably one of the reason good habits are so necessary – good habits reduce the stress of having to make decisions that are good for you.
Larger decisions do require more thought, they can affect our lives positively or negatively. The right choices are imperative if one is to succeed in life. So how do you make the right choices?
- Ask why you are making the choice, why you want to do whatever it is you are deciding on. Ask it at least three times.
- Ask what resources are required for the choice. Do you need money, time, talent, commitment?
- Do you have the resources and is it worth using those resources for this particular choice?
- Are there better alternatives?
Not making a choice is always another viable option; you can choose to not choose. Essentially, even maintaining the status quo can be a hard choice. It is quite a conundrum isn’t it?
- Make choices based on your values
- Make choices based on your goals
- Make choices based on your health
- Make choices based on your resources
Never make choices based on what someone else wants or someone else’s values. You have to own your choices if you want them to work for you. Limit the time you spend making day-to-day choices. Set a diet and stick to it. Set a daily and weekly schedule and stick to it. You will have a lot more productive hours in the day if you do not spend an hour each day trying to decide what to have for dinner or whether to exercise or not.
Make the choice to use your time and resources wisely and don’t sweat the small stuff. Take the risk to go with your gut when it is viable to do so. We have been given the gift of free will – use the gift wisely and make choices that make you happy, keep you healthy, and help you achieve your dreams.
If you have decisions to make, you can use the Decision Making Matrix which is an excellent tool for helping in the decision making process.
Yes, No, Maybe So
It is important to make decisions, make commitments and stand by them. The decision-making or commitment process can be summed up with the three possible answers to every yes or no question, yes, no, or maybe. Are you a yes or no person? Are you positive or negative? Are you stuck in neutral, stuck on maybe?
When I first started in sales, I was taught to always try to get to yes, or even no because a maybe is a non-answer when it comes from a prospect. It is a basic truth, maybe is easier than saying yes or no. Maybe is non-threatening. Personally, I say maybe quite often when I am formulating a decision. It’s not a great crutch to rely on though, you can maybe yourself to death.
Should I, shouldn’t I? Will I, won’t I? It can get tedious and you know yourself that nine times out of ten your first instinct is usually right. It is important to learn to say “yes” or “no” emphatically and “maybe” sparingly.
When you find yourself wondering whether to say “yes” or “no”, it is a natural response to say “maybe”, but that “maybe” hangs in the air. “Maybe” is not really an answer, it is not actionable. It is an easy way to get yourself out of or into a situation you may or may not want to be in. Try to dispense with the maybes, or give yourself a time limit on your maybes. Allow yourself to say maybe for 48 hours until you have clarified whether you want to say yes or no. There is nothing wrong with saying “maybe” if you keep it in check.
The problem with being a “maybe” is that you neither gain nor lose; you sit safely in the middle and do nothing to rock the boat, as it were. When you say yes or no, you rock the boat a bit. But when you say yes to something you want to say no to, your boat might just capsize.
“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” – Mathatma Gandhi
Saying “no” is not necessarily negative, it is empowering. It is freeing. You can say “no” and free yourself from the shackles of “maybe” or “yes”. Most of us have a problem with saying “no”. It is natural, it is easy, it is easy to say “yes” or “maybe”, it is hard to say “no”. Saying “no” may well be one of the most difficult things for most people to say. However, saying “no” can free you, if you have the power to say “no”, you have the power to take control of your life. Saying “no” takes a bit of moxie, it takes strength. Saying “no” is not easy, but once you have mastered it, you have mastered yourself. You have taken control over your own existence.
You can take your strength; assume your power over your own life and your impact on others only when you can say “yes” or “no” with strength and conviction. You cannot stand in the middle and achieve success and happiness. Maybe is a non-starter; it is a non-answer; it is not an action word. You have to stand on one shore or the other, yes, or no, but not maybe so.
“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain
When making a decision, assess whether or not you really have the time or desire to do the thing you have been asked to do. Will saying yes take up time you have committed for something else? Will saying no free you to work more on accomplishing your short or long-term goals?
A few questions to ask yourself before saying yes or no include:
- What are my current obligations?
- What are my priorities?
- Is this commitment important to me?
- Is this commitment going to cause me unneeded stress?
Once you have decided to say no, say it. Be brief, be honest, be respectful and be ready to repeat it. Saying no does not mean you are rude, thoughtless or disagreeable. Saying no does not necessarily mean conflict or lost opportunities. Saying no actually is a way to show respect to yourself and others.
- I am sorry I cannot do this because I have other priorities right now.
- I would love to, but…
- No, I can’t.
Get it into your head that it is better to say no than to say maybe. People will appreciate that you did not commit half-heartedly and that maybe you will be there for them the next time they request something of you. You will find that you feel better about yourself and that your time is more your own.
SEEBEDO Your Decisions
SEE what is important in your life. See the things that you want to say yes or no to. See what your priorities are.
BE consequent about what you say yes or no to. Commit to your decision and stick by it.
DO what you say you are going to do.